Rowan Tree and Red Thread

Well I've had better nights. I had some difficulty getting to sleep last
night and was rather thrown by a fit of crying that seemed to come on me
from nowhere just after midnight. I don't really know if it was
post-operative stress getting the better of me, my natural feelings of
frustration and helplessness bubbling up or, as the doctor on call
suggested, possibly some post-op effect on my thyroid. She had just come
from an endrocrine rotation, I think, so perhaps her diagnosis was coloured
by her recent training. Whatever the cause, it was disturbing to be so out
of control emotionally, and to be confronted with the possibility that my
emotional state could be physically affected so.

I did sleep in the end with the aid of a sleeping tablet. This morning the
team have been round again and it looks like another day of observation. The
doctor took blood last night and my calcium levels are being monitored as
before. As best I understand it I have to wait until my body makes up its
mind and starts working with the new parathyroid hormone levels.

It's frustrating that ultimately it's up to me to fix myself but it's at a
level I have no control over.